Reatless

Why am I being tortured this way. The unrelenting guilt during the day is bad enough, but now I can't even escape from it by dreaming. Ive been plagued with dreams of failure and disappointment. It's not fair.

The man I dreamed about still hAsnt showed up. If he's coming he needs to hurry up. But I know he was just another unobtainable dream, so it would really make me crazy if I got mad because he didn't come for me.

Don't drag it out. Let me just die quietly and unnoticed.

Leaving Home

I decided that I'm leaving. I cant bring anymore shame to myself or disgrace to my family. Leaving is for the best. I'll sell my things and just slip away one night. I just need to decide on a location. Maybe I'll go north where it's cold. My family hates the cold so they wouldn't go there.

I know life will be hard and there's a good chance that I'll die but I won't be a burden anymore. I'll make sure I'm away from everyone. That would be a very fitting way yo go. I'll be alone in death just as I was in life. Surrounded by the cold unfeeling snow and cruel stinging winds.

I should have left years ago. Right after highschool like my classmates. But I got stuck in this town. God, if you exist and are seeing this post, please exchange my life with someone about to die. I shouldn't be in this world. Give life to those who want it next time.