im useless

My anxiety and depression is getting worse. Everyone around me is talking about how I failed. I wanted to do so much in life. I wanted to do my best to make my family happy. I had so many plans for us. I'm all alone. I cant do anything more for them. I shouldn't be allowed to exist this way. Is this what my life will be like from now on? For every day to be a struggle to face the people I love. I go to sleep each night hoping Ill just vanish before the sun rises. This kind of life is too much for me. Im a useless person and a waste of everyone's time. Ive ruined all their lives and brought the ultimate shame upon myself. I should be punished for it. Some one please punish me for it... maybe if I keep suffering this way I can at least atone for my failings.